Fellowship Part Two

I was looking back over my WCF funding application the other day to focus myself on the goals I had written down for my time here. One section asked what I hope to accomplish both personally and for the community here. Since the blog is about what I’m doing in Africa, it seems appropriate to post this, as kind of a thesis statement.

“Personally, South Africa has been an important part of a process that started about a year and a half ago – a difficult and painful, but incredibly revealing and rewarding, process; and one that has forever changed and broadened my world in terms of fellowship and life experience. It’s been a time of healing and growth and it doesn’t feel finished yet. I look forward to continuing to build on the skills I’ve learned in my short time here, and I especially cherish the knowledge that I’m in an environment where my belief in God is the absolute center of everything I say and do. For the people I come in contact with, I want to share my passion and enthusiasm for Bible study, and my complete conviction – due to personal experience – that the practical solutions to life’s hard problems are best found within the pages of God’s word and the comfort of His care. I want to continue to form new mutually-beneficial relationships that I never would have had access to back home. Whatever small amount I’m able to give to others, I will no doubt get more in return.”

Last night I posted this on Facebook: “Going to bed with the sound of heavy rain through the open windows reminds me of being in the dorm at Arkansas Bible School…I’m about as far from there as I could ever get…” My cousin replied, “Thank the Good Lord.” I generally try to refrain from publicly saying anything negative about my former ecclesia or the environment I grew up in. But there’s a difference in being malicious and being straightforward, and I don’t shy away from discussing it online if someone else brings it up. My reply was, “God works in mysterious, sometimes painful, ways for our own good, eh?” I firmly believe God brought me on this journey that started years ago – showing me glimpses of what He wanted from me little by little, as I could handle it. Looking back on it, I know that despite some really shaky and precarious times, I did handle it, and I’ll continue to handle it, despite the heavy toll it’s taken. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Cor. 12:9,10).

Last time I was here I wrote a post about fellowship. https://nextcomesafrica.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/fellowship/

I got a lot of feedback, both from people who already knew and from those who were clueless about my situation. I wrote it because even though most Christadelphians in Africa don’t have a clue what the NA issues are about, the pain is still very much with me and the experience has in many ways defined who I am. Sometimes that needs an outlet.

I’ve discussed what happened to me in the US with several people in South Africa. Usually it comes up because someone will ask if I know so-and-so or if I go to whatever Bible school in the States, and I tell them I’m from the small part of the Unamended community that usually doesn’t fraternize with the larger body, and for the most part I don’t know the people they know – though that’s slowly changing. Most people are interested, because it’s something they can’t really relate to in an area where these kinds of fellowship breaches don’t exist; they can’t believe the amount of pressure to conform that exists in some areas of the brotherhood – Amended and Unamended alike. Occasionally someone will very flippantly respond that it’s all silly and they wonder why we’re wasting time trying to find political solutions and that we should focus more on outreach and quit talking about it. It’s unintentional I know, but that’s a hurtful thing to say to someone whose entire life has been flipped upside down – mentally, physically, geographically, and especially psychologically – by this “silly” issue. There are people being forced to make really hard choices – that sometimes result in being cut off from family and friends – as a consequence of the choices made by others over a century ago. There are people working hard to find practical, biblical solutions, that take into account that some will always need more assurances than others and that it wouldn’t be right to leave those people behind. It’s all painful, but decisions have to be made. You make a choice either way – by action or inaction. Not talking about it isn’t healthy or helpful, and it’s not an option.

This has all come up again because there’s something going on in Arkansas right now, and it doesn’t do anybody any good to ignore it. People who are doing what they believe is right are trying to compel others to do what they believe is wrong. The Bible is clear on how God feels about “mob mentality” and about making decisions that are against your conscience, when it’s guided by His word.

“Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind” (Rom. 14:5).
“Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment” (Ex. 23:3).
“We ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).
“But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation” (Gal. 2:11-13).

It’s one thing to do something extreme because you believe it’s right. It’s another to go along with it out of fear. Like Peter and Barnabas, it’s all too easy to go along with something “for fear of the Jews.” But Paul says to not give “place by subjection” on these kinds of issues for even an hour (v. 5). Compromise on the little stuff, like hymn books and head coverings; but this stuff – the stuff that matters, like the freedom to fellowship those you believe are Jesus’ brethren – “not for an hour.”

It’s taken me a long time to be able to think about the people who disfellowshipped me and chose to play political games to mislead people into thinking I willingly separated myself, without anger. I’ve prayed for them all along, and asked God to bless them and lead them where He wants them to go, just as I feel He’s led me, but there were underlying feelings of bitterness. It still makes me sick to my stomach to think about the whole process, but mostly now, I just feel compassion for them. And, as always happens, extreme actions lead to more extreme actions, and now the very people who made the decision to cut me off are being forced to make the same choice I was – keep sharing fellowship with people you believe are your brethren, or keep yourself safe and comfortable by going along with practices you don’t believe are biblical.

The people who are forcing these choices are doing what they believe God wants them to do. That’s what they should be doing. They’re not horrible people. I’ve tried to force them into a box and come up with character faults or some common denominator that explains why someone would think they need to have that much control over someone else. I can’t make it fit. They’re nice people. They’re worth the effort of trying to continue interaction. I admire their zeal and I have much more respect for extreme decisions made from conviction than extreme decisions made from cowardice.

Cowardice, or lack of courage, is a big part of this. There are other issues, such as not wanting to experience discomfort or find yourself aligned with people who you believe have gone too far in the other direction. Throw in a dose of ignorance and stagnation due to never being challenged, and a lack of scriptural knowledge on the topics at hand, and you have a recipe for disaster. But I believe lack of courage is at the root. There will always be extremists who believe separation from almost everyone is necessary. But that’s not the problem. The problem is when those who don’t believe that go along with it. Courage is only developed by doing things you don’t think you have enough courage to do. Developing it should be a top priority for any disciple of Christ! “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” (Deut. 31:6).

I don’t know what the solutions are, but I know what would be a good start. We have to read our Bibles and talk to people. We have to really understand what fellowship is before we try to decide who we should and should not consider our brethren. Trying to make a decision on who to fellowship before you can summarize what the Bible says about fellowship – including when it does and doesn’t exist – is stupid and careless, and that’s what I fear a lot of people are doing. Start with the question of what it really means to be of one mind, and whether there’s any biblical indication that someone else’s fellowship decisions have to align perfectly with yours in order for the two of you to have fellowship. We have to leave our comfort zones – physically and otherwise – once in a while. And we have to take completely seriously Christ’s words that, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.” (Matt. 25:45). And we have to stop waiting until it affects us or our families, because at that point all our credibility is gone.

I hope that what’s going on will be a wake-up call, and will trigger a realization that God calls us to a lot of things – mindless conformity is not one of them. It’s a lesson we all need from time to time. I think Romans 12 encapsulates a lot of principles that are helpful for us to keep in mind when dealing with these issues.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness. Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”